it's like a garden

Zachary's really into the gardening analogy. First we checked the season to see if it was time and now we're moving into tilling the soil. This week's literature discussion's theme was:

Preparing the Soil.

This chapter was holy moly long. So far i've ripped throught the chapters - they've been quick, easy reads, with stuff I'd already been exposed to elsewhere. This week there were a lot of details. Maybe because this is the first time a chapter focuses on a stage rather than background. It seemed repetitive because she'd already brushed over the topic in previous chapters. She's already mentioned watching out for assumptions for example. I guess she really wants the reader to make an assumption inventory. I can see her point that assumptions can derail a relationship before it even gets going, but how many times can a person use the same hammer to drive the same nail? (Ugggh. I really hope I don't end up writing in my journal next fall about all the assumptions that led my mentoring astray). ;)

I learned quite a bit about how I do not want to conduct a discussion tonight. Our facilitator's pencil was waving around in his hand and he kept clapping his hands together to reinforce points. He was certainly animated but I was frightened. It was also distracting because I couldn't concentrate on what he was saying. I felt like I was the only one uncomfortable. I think it would have been rude to move away from the group. I already have a difficult enough time trying to participate. The entire discussion revolved around a single case study on one page of the chapter. There's some discussion in the group about how we should be approaching this struggle: are we after content - trying to cover all the concepts in the chapter -OR- do we want some in depth discussion on one of the concepts? I struggled with that last week and decided my role was to make sure all the material was covered. If there was an exam on the chapter and the exam had 5 questions, we'd only have covered 1/5th the material. I doubt I would feel prepared. Methinks I'm sticking with Tina on this one for now. Discussion is for Philosophy and Women's Studies classes. Mentorship class is for getting through the material first, discussion second.

turn turn turn

To everything there is season and so on and so on.

Chapter 3 continued:

So we've got all this reflecting going on which 'enables' us to 'enable' these first year students next semester. I'm so glad Zachary decided to mention time management right after she says you should spend most of your waking time reflecting. I'm trying really hard to understand the benefits of reflection. In fact, in theory, I really do see them. I can appreciate the development and I can imagine getting all warm and fuzzy looking back at the first entries of the semester next fall - trying to predict the mix of personalities I surely will have in my group. I can imagine reading my reflections on the growth of my mentees and I can only hope that I will learn and grow myself. I understand that that is supposed to be part of the process. It's just hard to predict if it will work for me. ("Down insecurities! Down!!")

I consider the time crunch I live under each and every day and wonder how I'm supposed to fit in writing this journaling novel. I've been trying but even this semester it's hard to manage reflecting on the class once a week. When I'm walking home (still trying to maintain the silence from that earlier chapter) I think about all the things I want to incorporate. It's frustrating that I don't end up having a chance to sit and write until four days later! This week has been especially difficult because of midterm exams and papers. For this class alone there are three things to hand in: this blog, a midterm reflection paper, and a visual image project depicting myself as a mentor. I'm not to sure how I'm proceeding with that one. I had a plan to use photographs of two of my mentors - I was going to take pictures of them at ballet class tomorrow but now class is cancelled due to illness. :( I hope she feels better soon. I hope I come up with another project idea.

I ordered Ms. Mentor's Impeccable Advice for Women in Academia in hopes that it might be useable for my second text. It came two days after I ordered it but :( no luck. It's interesting and I'm sure I'll get something out of it, but I don't see it as being particularly appropriate for this course. Ah well. I have another idea. And there's always the possibility that my Quick book will arrive from Toronto any day now.

tootles.